Practical Steps To Decluttering That Work For Real Clutterers
Excerpted from the book Stop Clutter From Stealing Your Life by Mike Nelson. Stop Clutter From Stealing Your Life offers both practical and psychological insights into cluttering behavior that differs from traditional organizing books written by professional organizers. The techniques used by professional organizers to help clutterers declutter and get organized often don't work long-term for clutterers.
"Recognize success with thanksgiving and build more success on that." – Emmet Fox. Find and Use Your Inner Power
OK, now that you have decided that you want a new way of life, let's get off our cerebrums, roll up our sleeves and dig in! While I touched upon making choices of how to declutter in Chapter four, they were from a very personal point of view. This chapter is more succinct and detached.
The first time, you may be so ashamed about your mess that you do not want anyone to help you, or you may be so overwhelmed that you need someone to help you get started. There is no right way. Attack the problem whichever way seems to work best for you. And, if you find that it isn't working, change tactics.
If you choose to have someone help you, how do you choose someone? A professional organizer? A friend? Relative? A fellow clutterer? There are pros and cons to each. They are listed in my personal order of preference.
Pros
You work at your own pace. There is little shame (though you will beat
yourself up for getting into this mess from time to time). It is free
(financially anyway -- you have already paid a high emotional price). You decide what is important and what is not. You get a tremendous sense of
accomplishment with every little step. You can step back and admire your work as
frequently as you like. You can cry unabashedly when your emotions overwhelm
you.
Cons
You may not be able to even start. You may feel overwhelmed from the
beginning. You may not be able to decide where to begin. You may get stuck. You
may get overwhelmed in the middle of the project. You may become so depressed
that you can't go on. You may break your arm from patting yourself on the back.
You may feel like you have made real progress when, in fact, you have hardly
begun. You may never get finished.
Pros
This is the best choice if you are going to ask for help. They understand.
They will go at your pace, taking time out to comfort you when the emotions get
overwhelming. They will be flexible in deciding where things should go and
understand when you just can't let go of something. By the same token, since
they have been there, they will not let you get away with doing nothing. You had
better express your thanks with another nice dinner, buy them a massage, or with
an offer to help them work on their own clutter.
Cons
They might be too sensitive to your needs and not make you make some tough
decisions. It may take longer, as you will engage in conversations about why
things area the way they are. They, too, may become overwhelmed and quit in the
middle of the job.
Pros
If you have friends who have actually been to your home and remains friends,
they have a lot going for them. They like you anyway. You don't have to pay
them, though you had better at least take them out to a nice dinner or two to
express your gratitude. They have wanted to help you for however long you have
known them and they appreciate being asked. They will have the very best of
intentions.
Cons
It could wreck your friendship. Even though they may love you, they will not really understand why you have so much stuff, nor why you are attached to, say, your collection of paper sacks. If they are take-charge kind of people, they may (in your sensitive opinion) bully you into doing things you don't want to do. That can build resentments. Being a good clutterer, you love to hold onto resentments. At some point they may become exasperated with you. They may give up in the middle of the project because they cannot deal with the mess and the emotions.
Pros
These people have seen it all. They will not judge you. You will be paying them to do a job and there is no emotion (for them), involved. You can go away and they will do the whole thing for you.
Cons
They are expensive ($45 to $175 an hour). My own experience was that I was given quotes ranging from $500 for a one bedroom apartment to $2,000 for a two bedroom apartment. They operate on set principles of how things should work, which may not work for you. They may talk you into discarding things that make no sense to them, yet may be really valuable to you.