Cluttering And Our Shadow Selves
This is an introduction to our shadow self or selves as a psychological component to cluttering. This is not everyone's cup of tea and not everyone understands the Shadow Self, so if it does not apply to you, just move on to other parts of the site. .
The shadow self is a complicated psychological & theological theory. I will attempt to present the concept in simple terms as it applies to our cluttering. For more details on the shadow self, you can read books by Jung, David Richo, Thomas Moore and many other thinkers. We all have shadow selves, more than one. They are the opposite of every one of our personality traits.
I've attended David Richo's workshops and they are excellent! For more information, or to order his books or tapes, go to www.davricho.com
Sure, this is hard. It is easier to clean up your room than to deal with your inner being. But the rewards are far greater. Once you have returned control to your neat self, you will not have to struggle so to not clutter. And that is what living a full life is all about. No longer will you have to feel overwhelmed, no longer will you have to feel powerless. Do this work and you will be free. Don't do it, and only work on the outside manifestations of your clutter and you will remain a prisoner. Your cell will be neater, but you will not be free to express yourself and enjoy the fruits of your wonderful completeness. Do the work. And don't give up. You deserve it.
Basically, our shadow self is a part of us that exhibits the characteristics we deem "bad" or "unwelcome." We try to deny those aspects of ourselves so that we can be "good." Shadow theory says that we must make friends with our shadow selves, because they are part of us, and by denying them, we give them strength.
For clutterers, our cluttering self is our shadow self. We also have a "neat" self, but we have given our shadow self such power that it rules. Every time we deny it, it gains strength. We have been denying it all our lives and we won't lessen its power overnight, but we can make real progress in a short time.
In one of your meditations, go to the place inside you where you emotions live. See the two selves, your cluttering self and your neat self. You will notice that your shadow self is dark and powerful and bigger than your neat self, which is probably cringing in the corner of your soul. View this shadow without blame or denial. Accept it for what it is. It has a right to live, just as your neat self does. Befriend it. Say something like, "I know who you are and I respect you. I do not wish to deny your existence, but to help you go where you are most comfortable -- the shadow realm. You have become powerful in order to assert yourself and let me know that you are here. I now know you are here. You are not bad -- you are who you are. Let's accept each other. My neat self is my true self, and it needs you to give it definition. That is your role. My neat self is powerful and dominant. At first, you may not like being non-dominant, but be assured that you are serving your true purpose, as is my neat self."
Then talk to your neat self. "You have always been with me. You will always be with me. I have let our shadow self take your power, but now I will help you regain your power. You are my dominant self. You are who I really am. Come, look at the shadow self. He is only a shadow of you. He has no substance. He appears big and scary, but he is just the other side of you. You made him, and you need him to define you, but you are his creator. Do not let your creation rule you. Regain your lordship and rule your dominion with kindness and firm control. You are me. You are king."